Update #1

Back at it again.
Of course this is to be expected I suppose. I'm excited about this now, but what will happen as time passes? Will I lose interest? Possibly, but I don't want to worry about that right now. So let's talk about the structure of this for a moment. How often will it be updated? I'm not really sure. Don't expect to see a new post everyday, for I've already stated that is not my intention. If it does happen however, so be it. Honestly, this will be just as random as my thoughts are. I'll update this when I feel the need to express a new idea, or just simply flood the page with what is filling my head.
It's a refreshing feeling really. I find it weird... but comforting.

"And these are the things, we think about.

In the middle of the night all we have is time."

Dear diary that doesn't exist,

A diary.
Is that what this is? I would like to not imagine it that way but in some sense of the word the fact remains that you can classify it as just that. However, the difference is clear. A diary is written and intended to be a dialogue that only the writer will read.  This, this is written with the intent for anyone to know my thoughts. A hope that you will gain new understanding and insight. Learn something about me. Learn something about yourself. This is not intended to be a day-to-day chronicle of my life for I think no one would want to read that. If you wanted to bore yourself that much you would talk to a mirror for an hour.
So that brings us to the point: what is this blog about? The title should insinuate something. What do you take it to mean? Think of it as not me speaking, but rather that tiny voice in my head that won't allow me to sleep at night. This is his blank canvas. His interjections to be let free. His way to show he's prevalent. It is a look into the mind of someone who has achieved great things. Someone who has suffered immensely. Someone you would never expect to do something like this. It is what he has always wanted to say, but never could. Take the journey with him through his mind, but be warned of the revelations that are made known. Feel with him as he feels. Try to understand what he means, as complex as that may be.
This is not a self loathing stunt. This isn't something that is aimed to make people feel bad for him. It is simply a running dialogue of what goes through his head. So again, what is the point? Make it what you want it to be. As this is intended for you, try to make your own meaning of it. I encourage it. Use it as a means to listen to yourself. Listen to your own thoughts. Try to understand it. 

"Speak as if no one is listening, with the intent for everyone to hear."